To Save a Shattered Soul
by ChaosEngaged
Summary: “Now she knew why Rodney’s eyes were always hollow, he was drowning in his own guilt with no one to pull him out of the water.”
1. Another Perspective

Title: To save a shattered soul  
Author: BloodOrigen  
Beta: Marie-France  
Spoilers: Up to Lost Boys I think not sure yet but will put that just incase it does.  
Disclaimer: I don't any of these characters…but if David Hewlett would like to donate himself and his character Rodney McKay to the Michelle foundation…be my guest. I do though own a couple of the crew of the Daedalus because I made them up.  
Summary: "Now she knew why Rodney's eyes were always hollow, he was drowning in his own guilt with no one to pull him out of the water." SLASH McShep eventually (hinted at mostly in this chapter)  
Author's Note - This chapter has now been beta'd so i reposted the first chapter. Hooray for beta readers.

Chapter 1 – Another Perspective

Rodney McKay knew a few things were certain in life. He knew that the theories of physics were absolute, even though they didn't comprehend them in their entireties yet. He knew that he was a genius and with that came its own set of expectations and responsibilities. He knew that people were inherently stupid unless given a purpose. And last he knew that the universe was against him.

A few weeks ago, while standing on this same balcony, he though he had finally proven that last on wrong but it was all too good to be true. Funny enough it was the first truth that did him in, which brought him to another thing he was good at. Like Dr Jackson, Rodney had perfect the art of being 'Just Fine' and no one was any wiser. The trick was to never say 'I'm fine' or anything of that nature, the trick was to complain about everything else.

Rodney sighed and looked down at the water. A month ago, to the day, was when the events at the ancient outpost had occurred and no one had forgotten it. No one trusted him, that was obvious and it wasn't what irked him. It was the snide remarks behind his back that people though he couldn't here, and the 'accidental' pushing when someone walked by….It was high school all over again. That was why he was currently standing on the edge of the balcony on the far side of Atlantis, where no one visited, looking down at the water. In his hand lay three pieces of paper, one addressed to him and the other two addressed to Lt. Colonel Sheppard and Dr. Weir.

The door to the balcony opened and a figure walked out and stood next to Rodney. For a couple of minutes silence reigned between the two. Finally Rodney opened his mouth to say something.

"Is their anything you wanted Lt. Cadman?"

Laura stared at Rodney for a second as if judging him.

"Nothing really, I just came out here to get some air and away from the rather depressing mood of people"

Rodney looked at Laura skeptically.

"On the other side of Atlantis…which is at least an hour out of your way? Why do I find that hard to believe?"

"It was a nice walk."

They both fell silent again. Rodney finally pushed himself off the railing and sighed walking off the balcony and through the doors with his shoulders hunched.

Laura watched Rodney slowly run away from her. What had happened to the man she knew, the man who held his head up high even when others mocked his findings? Rodney was a genius; it didn't take getting into someone's mind to figure that out, even everyone on the Daedalus knew of his accomplishments (I mean a atomic bomb in the 6th grade), and because of this his work was his passion, his fun. Even in the worst of situations, there was usually a spark in his eyes that no one could turn out and a contagious thirst for knowledge but lately there was nothing. No spark, no frantic energy, just nothing.

Cadman turned her eyes away from the water and walked to the door. Silently it opened for her and shut again once she had walked in. Slowly she walked back towards the mess hall thinking about the look in Rodney's eyes. They looked hollow as if something was eating at his soul. She knew the felling and the look too well. Dr. Jackson had worn it more than once but there had always been someone there to pick up the pieces, namely one Jack O'Neill.

As she reached the mess hall she finally realized why Rodney's eyes were always hollow. There sitting at a table in the mess were four people, Teyla, Ronan, Dr. Weir, and Colonel Sheppard. All of them were laughing and talking to each other as a group. A group which, in her eyes, was missing one person. Rodney was left to drown in his own guilt; no one cared to pull him out. They had done the one thing that went against the main principal General Jack O'Neill had laid down as a Colonel, 'never leave anyone behind'.

Grabbing a tray, she started placing her food on it. Someone calling her name broke her out of her reverie.

"CADMAN! OVER HERE!"

Her head whipped around to see a couple of people from the crew of the Daedalus calling her over. She didn't know they were here. She looked down at her watch and looked back up in surprise. She walked over, dropped her tray on the table they had claimed and gave each of them a hug.

"I didn't know you were coming in this early."

A smirk appeared on the man's face with a captain's ranking on his BDU's

"You mean you forgot. Come on Cadman, out with it, what's grabbed your attention this time?"

"Nothing Alex, what makes you think that?"

"The way you were standing in line just staring at the wall." He said bluntly and sat down.

Laura huffed, sat down, and began picking at her food with her fork. She looked at each of them, deliberating if she should tell them. First there was Lt. Brian Donovan, dark hair, dark eyes, and mysteriously quiet by nature, he was the shortest of the bunch only reaching 5'9". 2nd Lt. Cassie Ainsworth was sitting next to him, dark hair, green eyes, and a southern attitude to rival any marine; she was one you never wanted to cross. Last but not least was Captain Dray, otherwise known as Alex, standing at 6'1", blond hair, blue-green eyes, he lead his team with SG-1's principle rule, "never leave anyone behind." These three plus herself at one time were the tactical division the Daedalus sent out if they found something new. That is until she was transferred to Atlantis for awhile. She watched them all looking at her for a moment.

"Why do I have a feeling your not just here for a social visit?"

A collective groan was heard from the group, Brian's head smacked against the table and a muffled voice was heard.

"Cadman can't you ever _not_ change the subject."

Laura blinked. "Me?"

She looked at the group again and sighed. She took one sparing glance at the table she was watching before and then looked back to Brian, Alex, and Cassie.

"I think there's a problem…."

Meanwhile from one of the balconies on Atlantis, a piece of paper floated down onto the water. As it hit the water it slowly opened.

_McKay,_

_Sometimes you should take the hint that you are not wanted. No one wants to see you; no one wants to hear from you. Why Sheppard sees you as an asset on his team is beyond me. Why don't you just stay in your room and cause no more trouble for the rest of us._

_Signed_

_ BLANK>_


	2. Something Lurks

Authors Note: Gotta thank everyone who reviewed the first chapter. Lol I actually wrote it during a chem lecture and didn't think i would actually get alot of positive comments on it. So finally exams finished and i wrote the second chapter...so for all those people who have been bugging me to get another chapter done...abra kadabra..here it is...

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**Chapter 2 – Something Lurks…**

Except for the occasional thumping of a marine patrolling, the halls of Atlantis were always quiet at this time of night. There was no one to disturb him, to break him out of his silent contemplation over this piece of atlantian equipment that had yet to sing out to someone. Wires were threaded all over metallic casing and lead to a computer that was being watched with what some people would call anticipation but in reality there was nothing fixated on the readings that this little box gave out. A genius some would call him, but right now only one thing was on his mind, how to fix those broken relationships and not some piece of worthless junk that was giving out miniscule readings.

In his clenched hand was another piece of paper, one that looked like it had been read many times over in a debate with what to do with it. Finally he leaned over and tossed it into the bin. At the top of the letter the words "I Rodney McKay…"could be seen but the rest of it was smudged or scratched out.

Rodney settled back into his chair once more. He took one look at the readings and in the next second the "piece of junk" was against the wall and shattering into a million pieces. Sighing he walked over to the now broken equipment and bent down to take a look at the destruction he had caused. Carefully he picked up one of the shards and stared at it, turning it over and over in his hand. Each edge of the shattered equipment was different. Maybe he could piece it back together, but he knew he needed all the pieces and some of those were so small that even if he put it back together some things would still be missing only because he couldn't see them. As he turned the piece around, he sliced his hand on one of the edges. He dropped the piece in surprise and looked at the way the blood dripped off his hand and onto the floor. It fell slower than water, as if hanging there for a second, but then hit the ground or more precisely the shard. He watched as the blood stained his destruction.

Suddenly he saw a shadow in the corner of his eye, and turned his head to peer into the shadows. No one was there, maybe he had just imagined it but then he heard it, a low throaty chuckle that sounded like it was coming from all around him.

----

Laura Cadman looked around her room at the expressions on the faces of the members of her old team. It was the middle of the night and they were all sitting around a card table with a bottle of what passed as alcohol on Atlantis.

"So you're telling me," Alex began, "that Rodney McKay has been left to fend for himself in this place, without any friends or support?"

Laura nodded her head "Yeah that's about it."

"None of the Scientists are talking to him?" Cassie added as she dealt out the cards for Texas Hold'em.

"Not that I can tell. From what I've seen if anyone needs any help or has a question, it goes to Zelenka."

A silence fell over the room as everyone looked at their cards. Brian fidgeted for a moment before reaching for his chips and laying down two, keeping quiet as he thought. Alex stared at Brian's bet and looked at his own hand.

"I fold." He slid over his cards back to Cassie and took a sip of his drink. "What about Sheppard? Has he been anywhere near those labs?"

Laura flipped her cards close in her hand and placed them on the table. "Only when called down to activate something but never in the same lab as McKay, actually not many people are ever in the same lab as McKay. I go in there sometimes, but I can't get him to open up to me." She reached over to her pile and grabbed four chips "I'll take that call and raise you two more." She took a sip of her drink and threw the chips into the middle of the table.

"So what do you think then?" Alex stared at her.

"Laura has raised, you going to call it Brian?" Cassie called over as she was letting the cards drop into her other hand.

Brian looked at his cards. "I see your raise and call it"

"Ok then two players." Cassie dealt out three cards and placed them face up on the table. "3 of hearts, 10 of diamonds, 8 of spades, your call Laura."

"What I think is," she grabbed two more chips and threw them on the table, "I call, what I think is that if someone doesn't do something McKay is gonna close up for good."

Brian threw down two more chips on top of the pile. "Are you sure that there isn't something else going on?"

Laura, Alex, and Cassie looked over at Brian who had talked for the first time about their topic. "Like what?" Alex said.

"I don't know something seems a bit off about his demeanor."

Everyone just blinked at him. "I think Brian here has had one too many to drink." Cassie reached over and grabbed Brian's drink trying to pull it away from him. Everyone started chuckling.

"HEY!" Brian tried to grab his drink back.

At that everyone broke out into full scale laughter and everything else was forgotten for the moment. Outside their room a solitary figure stood and just listened to the laughter and banter within. He remembered when his team had been like that. He shook his head and continued down the hall. He had paused when he heard the laughter, and wondered what they could be so happy about, but currently he just wanted to patrol the halls, to think, just think, about what was going on in Atlantis. John Sheppard was the military commander in Atlantis, and right now he couldn't be more angry or confused at one of the members of his team. He stopped at the next intersection and ran a hand through his unruly hair.

Looking down one of the corridors he saw that one of the lights was in the labs. Carefully he peered down at his watch. 0300, no one should be down here right now. He walked down the hall making sure to not make a noise. One of the scientists probably just forgot to turn off one of the lights. Cautiously he peered through the doors and saw the one scientist he was trying to avoid. McKay was in the lab with what looked like a broom and pan sweeping up broken shards of metal, wire, and glass. Why was he sweeping something up off the floor and why was he up at this time? Where were the other scientists? Should he go in? All these questions were rattling around in his mind as he watched McKay on the floor of his lab. No matter the question though one thing still remained, he was still mad at McKay or maybe he was mad at himself, he didn't know. He had trusted Rodney so much before the incident that it almost cost them. Was that man so blind by his pride that he didn't see that his calculations could have been wrong or was it his fault that he didn't see that there was a risk? Either way McKay had to learn that his pride was his downfall. John shook his head at the questions rattling around in his mind. He took one more look at Rodney on the floor and decided to walk on, there was no threat there so he better just continue his patrol.

---

McKay looked up as he heard soft footsteps approaching in time to see a familiar shape pass his door. He sighed as he stood up cradling his badly wrapped hand; he would have to do something about that later. Trudging towards his desk he turned off his laptop and unplugged everything from it. Putting it under his arm, with a notebook attached with it, he looked around warily, and then made his way out of the lab.

As he walked down the halls he could feel a pair of eyes watching him, waiting for him to make a wrong move. His walking pace increased until he reached the transport. When the doors opened he jumped inside, and as soon as the doors closed he leaned against the wall. He closed his eyes and never noticed that tears fell faster than blood or water.


	3. Waters Edge

Authors Note: Well the third chapter...yes what to say about this...it gave me trouble...alot of trouble...it and I went to war at one point because it just wasn't coming out right...hmmm...comments would be much appreciated on this...i'm still not sure on it...

Thanks for Reviewing go to - Savin, sueKay-04, KraftyM, NenyaVilyaNenya, Caro, Hettie, Laheara, Silverthreads, and reef girl...

On to the story...  
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Chapter 3 – Waters Edge

The mornings of Atlantis were always a magical sight to behold. It wasn't the fact that they saw the sun rising up from the endless water, or that it signaled another day. The magical part of the mornings was that Atlantis, with her ever present blues, would change to different shades of red, reflecting the sun's light through her walls. The occupants of Atlantis woke to this everyday and it never lost its brilliance.

At that time of the morning, everyone had some place to be. Military shifts were being changed, greetings were exchanged, and scientists went to work on solving those puzzling questions about a long dead race. Along with the daily rituals that went seen by all those who lived in the city, there were those rituals that went unseen. They were small rituals that people did day after day to give them strength to continue through, to be able to fight to live once again. Every morning you could always find a figure standing on one of the balconies, watching the slight waves come crashing into the city walls.

John Sheppard believed those waves were like his live; no, it was more like he was the water surrounding the city. Looking out over the balcony to the distant horizon the water was calm. No waves, no ripples, not a single movement could be seen, but as you moved closer to Atlantis, each wave that crashed against the city showed how turbulent the water really was underneath that calm exterior.

John's hands clenched on the balcony railing, his knuckles going white from the force he was using. Las night had been awkward, seeing McKay bending over those shards like that. John shut his eyes, releasing his grip on the railing slightly, and bowed his head. He was still unsure around him. When once he had been steady in his gut feeling to trust McKay, now he questioned it. Then there was hearing Cadman and her former team last night. They were having fun, just laughing about the stupidest things, playing poker, and talking together. His team had been like that once, laughing even though the Wraith could be upon them at any moment. In any case, the trust between them was lost and John wasn't sure it could be completely regained. John opened his eyes, and looked towards the horizon. The red was fading now but instead of the normal blue sky that usually hung over Atlantis, a steel grey was taking over.

--------

On the opposite side of Atlantis, Cadman lay in her bed listening to the quiet, wait, no, make that loud snoring around her. After the team get together last night, Brian, Casey, and Alex had crashed on her floor and on her table. She turned and looked at her alarm clock; it would be going off in a few minutes, signaling the start of another day. What had they been talking about last night? She remembered the poker game, and the drinks (god that alcohol was strong), but the conversation was a blur to her. Suddenly, the alarm clock went off.

"Ugh…"

"Shut that damn thing off"

"My head, my poor aching head"

Each of the 3 crewmembers of the Daedalus slammed a pillow over their head trying to block out the noise. Laura laughed at their pathetic attempts.

"A little bit of a hangover today do we…if only Caldwell could see you now."

"CADMAN SHUT THE DAMN THING OFF!" Alex yelled and then held his head in pain.

Laura let them suffer a bit longer and before shutting the alarm off. Sighs of relief went out through the halls. Brian then dared to lift his head above her bed and opened one eye.

"What time is it?"

"Oh, just about 0700"

A series of groans went out.

"Do we have to get up?"

"Yeeeess," 2 people said.

"Ugh…"

Laura finally got off the bed and went to get dressed. Coming out she saw that they were asleep again, and kicked Alex with her boot.

"I'm up. I'm UP already."

"Well then if you're so up…I'll meet you in the mess in 30, that long enough for you."

"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah."

Suddenly Casey appeared next to Cadman fully dressed. Laura looked at her. Casey looked back at her. Laura blinked. Casey blinked.

"How did you get dressed so fast?"

"Talent" Casey said in a deadpan voice.

"Alright, Casey and I will be in the mess, you boys better be there in 30 otherwise were comin' back with a surprise."

As the door opened another groan was heard from the boys.

"Lightweights," the girls said and the door closed.

-------

Tucked away in the corner of a bed, a man just stared at the wall willing sleep to come. If John Sheppard was said to be water, this man was meant to be fire, but the fire had burnt out. He had even noticed it himself. Even if he were to solve the energy crisis they were going to be facing soon, the trust that the people had in him wouldn't be regained. Dark rings circled his eyes and a noticeable shake could be seen as his hand went to shut off his alarm. Sleep hadn't come last night. It hadn't come for a few nights, and he wasn't about to ask Carson for something. Right now he would just get up and deal with it. Eventually he would get the needed sleep, but there was no reason that anyone had to know.

Rodney slowly got out of bed. Grabbing a power bar out of his drawer, he quickly scoffed it down. It would abate his shakes for awhile, at least until he could get another power bar into his system. Quickly, he got dressed and went down to his lab. He had projects he had to finish and papers to sign, hopefully with no interruptions. Lately though he had not even gotten a hello in the labs, and everyone who needed advice went to Zelenka, who was not seen throughout the day, choosing to float around the labs like he owned the place. Rodney finally got himself a cup of coffee and sat down at his table. He booted up his computer and checked his messages for the day. There were 3 in total but one caught his eye.

To> RodneyMckay  
From > unknown  
Subject> blank

Didn't I tell you to leave?  
Why are you still here?  
You're worthless McKay, and the more people see that, the better it will be.  
Just remember the longer you stay here the more consequence it will have.  
Don't forget…I'm watching in the shadows.


	4. Time is Relative

Authors Note: HERE! throws chapter at angry mob comming towards her AHHHHH! runs away

**Chapter 4 – Time is relative**

Time is said to stand still for all those who wish for it to go faster, but this is an illusion of the mind.

The mind.

It is one of the most complex things that have evolved in this world. From the timid mouse to the courageous lion to man's "highly evolved" mind, it is a complexity that many try to understand. How can electrical impulses be converted into thoughts, movements, and actions? How can one mind work equations out in the blink of an eye and the other help to catch a football without looking?

Some people have an innate understanding of what people are thinking at any specific time. Others, like Kate Heightmeyer, study it to grasp a bit of its complexity. Most don't understand it at all. But if one thing held true, Rodney McKay knew it was this: people are born with knowledge. What they choose to do with it will determine what they become and the complexities that they can solve. Rodney always wanted to be a hero, but all he ever got was the bottom rung of the ladder, struggling to make his way to the top only to come crashing down again.

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The Daedalus was quiet. The majority of the crew was down on Atlantis and only a skeleton crew and an asgard remained. The crews rotated in and out of the Daedalus when on Atlantis. Some days were filled with scientists messing around with different controls, other days the military personnel would be messing around with the weapons systems, and most days you could find Hermiod muttering about the incompetent humans around him.

Truth of the matter was he only could tolerate people who had an open mind. Humans such as Dr. McKay, Dr. Zelenka, or even Lt. Cadman intrigued him because they were open minded enough to see things that others couldn't. Dr. McKay though was different than the other two. His mind was on the same plane as the creators of Atlantis, whom their people called the Ancients, and his people called the Alterans. Thoughts constantly bounced in the physicist's mind like lights turning on and off so fast that it all eventually became one blur of constant light. It was refreshing to see that one day he might be able to witness the rebirth of that great civilization that had roamed the galaxies for eons.

Hermiod muttered again and began pressing different buttons in correct order.

These humans eventually had to learn how to do all of this themselves. He could not stay on this ship forever, even if his people were indebted to them, but they were not quite ready. The were still crawling, not yet ready to walk, but one of them, in his mind, was ready to run. His thoughts at the Ancient outpost proved that.

Hermiod had looked over McKay's equations after they had left the destructions path. The equations were complex, even for the Asgard. Other humans weren't able to think on this scale, they couldn't see that time doesn't have to move in a straight line, but McKay's equations proved yet again how open he was to new thoughts. His equations were correct. He could find no flaw in them. They should have worked by his calculation, but then what went wrong. He would send them to the high council; maybe they could make sense of this.

------------

The mess hall was busy at this time of the morning. People were quick to come and get what they wanted and sit down, and though some things people couldn't tell what they were, other foods such as coco pops and fruit loops were in abundance due to the Daedalus's deliveries and Gen. O'Neill's firm request that fruit loops be made an essential part of the SGC's food group. This was why half the expedition, including Lt. Cadman and Lt. Ainsworth, was sitting in the mess hall eating the colorful breakfast cereal.

Cassie pulled out a red fruit loop from her bowl and quickly put it in her mouth.

"I like the red ones."

Laura looked at her and then pulled out a blue fruit loop.

"The blue ones are better" she said in a cheery voice.

Suddenly, Alex and the rest of the group sat down next to them, each nursing a cup of coffee in their hands.

"What are you two on about?" Alex looked between the two and groaned, "Wait…I don't want to know"

Laura looked at Alex and grinned.

"Fruit loops"

"Your brain is made of fruit loops," Brian muttered as he slowly drank the god-given elixir he held in his hand.

Laura glared at Brian and then tossed a yellow fruit loop at him. Brian picked up his head and looked at Laura.

"Oh, you're going down…once I have feeling in my arms"

The next person to sit down at their table made everyone look up in surprise. Ronon Dex was not known for his social skills among members of the atlantian expedition that did not consist of Lt. Col. Sheppard's team. Everyone looked at him while he just started eating his food. Finally, after a couple of minutes of the Daedalus team starring at him he looked at them.

"Where's McKay?"

Laura looked around the mess hall.

"He must be in one of the labs."

Ronon looked at Laura.

"He always has breakfast at this time."

Laura thought for a moment. The look he had on the balcony, the way he'd walked away without even an inch of snark, and now he didn't show up for breakfast…something wasn't adding up. She turned her head towards Alex and he had the same look on his face that she did. Cassie then piped up from her fruit loops.

"Why aren't you sitting over with Sheppard and Teyla?"

"Teyla is mad at me over our last mission."

"Well we have a new mission now. It's called find out what's not adding up," Laura paused, "with McKay of course."

"Sure I'm in. It's not like I have anything better to do right now."

"Ok first off we need to…."

----

In the labs around Atlantis things were flashing on and off. Nothing was working properly for those who tried to use them. Zelenka was getting angry with every piece of equipment he could find. It was like Atlantis was holding a grudge against the whole Atlantian expedition. As soon as one thing was fixed, another thing went wrong. Zelenka was about to sit down at his desk when something caught his eye. A piece of paper in the bin with the words "I, Rodney McKay…" printed on the top.


	5. Silence is the World's Curse

Authors Note: Woohoo next chapter of To Save A Shattered Soul. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and to those who read it. waves at people Yes you people who don't review but like to read stories...hello! Comment, Review, Read, do a funky chicken dance if you want to :P

**Chapter 5 – Silence is the World's Curse**

His eyes stared at the paper in disbelief. Each word printed there could not be true. This letter was false, it had to be. Rodney McKay does not quit, he never quits. Radek Zelenka flopped down in his chair and read the lines again.

_To: Dr. Elizabeth Weir_

_CC: Lt. Col. John Sheppard, Dr. Radek Zelenka_

_Attached: Zelenka's letter, Miko's Letter, 5 Personnel reports_

_Re: Resignation_

_I, Dr. Rodney McKay,  
__Do hereby give my resignation from the Atlantis expedition and ask for immediate  
__departure from the city by the form of the Stargate.  
__If this is unavailable, then I request to be added to the passenger list aboard the  
__Daedalus for the flight back to Earth._

_In my place, I recommend that Dr. Radek Zelenka, who I have copied this letter to,  
__take over as Chief Science Officer and to let Dr. Miko become the 2IC. They are good  
__at what they do and I would trust no one else with my city.  
__  
If you do allow this then enclosed you will find two letters, one is for Dr. Zelenka  
__which contains passwords to all my personnel projects, and the other for Dr. Miko,  
__it contains all the relevant information for the undistributed tasks that I had backed up._

_Furthermore I suggest getting rid of Dr. Kavenaugh and his lackey's. In the long run,  
__or even right now, they are going to be more trouble than they are worth (see  
__attached personnel sheets)._

_Dr. Rodney McKay PhD_

_Former Chief Science Officer of Atlantis_

Radek had looked in the bin for the other pieces of paper but had no luck. It was as if he had changed his mind midway through. Question flooded Radek's mind.

Why did he write it in the first place?

What made him want to give up Atlantis?

Did he still want to?

Where they the ones to blame?

-----

A lone figure sat in his room tapping his fingers on a desk beside a white piece of paper.

That stubborn man was not moving. He had sent note after note with threats of his imminent death if he did not comply with his wishes and all that man did was work on his precious little projects.

The man's fist clenched until his knuckles were white.

How had that man gotten into Atlantis in the first place?

He wasn't brave and he certainly wasn't as brilliant as they claimed, therefore he must have been just lucky. Luck would only get him so far.

He picked up the pen and began twisting it through his fingers. Carefully but quickly each finger caught the pen going down, around, and then back up again.

Fortunately for him, Sheppard still wasn't talking to McKay. He knew that as long as Sheppard didn't get involved things would eventually start going his way. It was always easier to cause fear in someone who had no one by their side. He just had to make sure that no one else decided to help the Doctor. Maybe it was time to up the threats.

With that the pen touched the page and began to write.

-----

Lab 1 was silent throughout most of the day, which was unusual because most of the time there were people running in and out of there for one reason or another and a voice yelling so loud that the room three doors down could hear it.

On this day though, Rodney McKay was the only one there.

There were no other scientists bouncing ideas off each other. Nor where there marines smiling to each other when their chosen scientists forgot to pay attention to where they were going because of the thought of a breakthrough on their projects. No, on this day everyone was somewhere else.

Even Radek had taken all his things and moved to a different lab. Of course, he said that he was moving because of the constant equipment failures in Atlantis. Rodney, though, knew he was lying. There had been no malfunctions in any of those labs, only in areas they hadn't yet examined, and the ones Atlantis wouldn't open. His computer would have told him that. Like now.

On Rodney's computer a message flashed.

ERROR IN SECTION 7

CRITICAL POWER FAILURE

Although how the program picked up what the error was, was still a mystery to him.

Rodney got up off his chair, took another sip of his coffee, and went to grab his toolkit. As his arm reached forward, he saw his hand beginning to shake. He raised it up to eye level and watched it for a minute.

To him it was just another reminder of the weaknesses he carried. Nothing was ever right about him, he always failed. It just took people longer to see it, but when they did they would notice everything about him, like the way his parents had.

Reaching up to his jacket pocket, her removed a power bar and ate it quickly. After 2 weeks of eating them, he barely noticed the taste anymore. The wrapper read Chocolate hazelnut but all he tasted was the rough texture of each and every bite.

Grabbing his tool kit and tablet, he turned to Zelenka's desk and sighed at the emptiness of it.

For an instant a brief spark crossed Rodney's eyes. The excitement that was once there almost coming to the surface but when his eyes saw that no one was there they became lifeless once more. The shadows of silence doused the fire as quickly as it had come, never letting it slip out of its grasp.

Rodney took one look around the room and then his eyes fell to the floor as he shuffled out to Section 7. His shoulders hunched as if the world was upon them. The fire was still not strong enough to face the oppressing silence. There was nothing there to help fuel the fire.

----

"That's the plan?"

Laura looked at Brian and Ronon as they said the same thing and rolled her eyes.

"Yes, that's the plan."

"That's a stupid plan," Brain replied.

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"Ok…You think up a better plan, brainiac."

Ronon looked at the two and then looked at Alex.

"Are they always like this?"

"Yep"

Cassie then interrupted.

"How about we take rotating shifts? Two people per rotation. So we'll have Cadman and Alex, Brian and Ronon, and then me and umm…"

Ronon looked at Cassie and then at the rest.

"Why don't you pair up and I will meet up with McKay alone. Seems less suspicious"

Brian finally broke out of his reverie over the stupid plan.

"Hey question…exactly why aren't you sitting with Lt. Col. Sheppard?"

Cassie groaned while Ronon just grinned.

"Where were you about 20 minutes ago?"

Brian looked at Cassie innocently.

"In coffee heaven, where angels are java beans, and god is a coffee pot"

"So what's Jesus?"

"He's the hot plate keeping the coffee hot."

"And the devil is?" Laura asked.

"Uncaffinated beverages."

"Someone tell me how you three got onto my team?"

"That's a mystery that not even the SGC can figure out, Alex" Laura replied with a cheeky grin.

Ronon picked up his fork to grab the last bit of food on his plate and then stopped.

"I still have one question. Who goes first?"

--------

While the occupants of Atlantis were going about their day, an important data burst was darting across the Pegasus galaxy, on its way to a planet on its outer edge. A little planet by the name of Othalla.

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